Martinez History LessonIt was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth' "?
Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Martinez.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Martinez. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Martinez jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Martinez frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Martinez whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."