Religious Jokes

Two priests and a baptist preacher were all playing golf one day
and one priest remarked about the other priest's Cadillac. The first priest
said that he has this large gold cricifix that he wears around his neck
during the services. During the services, the priest starts swaying back
and forth. The congregation hets hypnotized by the cricifix and the priest
asks them to please fill the collection plate. The second priest asks to
borrow the crucifix for Sunday's sermon.
Next week all three were playing golf and the first preist asks the
second how it went. "Oh, it was incredible! They put more money into the
collection plate than I've ever seen". At this point the baptist
preacher asks
to borrow the crucifix.
The next week all three were playing and the two priests ask the baptist
preacher how it went. The preacher replied "It was awful! The absolute
worst experience of my life!" One of the priests asks what happened.
The preacher said "Well, I put the crucifix around my neck, I started
swaying back and forth during the sermon, the congregation became hypnotized,

...then the chain broke, hit and hit my foot! I said 'AWWWWW SH*T and
spent all night cleaning out the pews!"
There were two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their
particular church. They both enjoyed riding the bikes and talking.
Then one Sunday one of the ministers was walking. "My what happened to
your bike?"
"Can you believe that someone in my congergation stole it?"
"NO!," then an idea struck him, " You want to know how to get your
bike back?"
"Next Sunday give a fire and brimstone sermon on the Ten
Commandments and when you get to the part about Thout shall not steal,
just look out into the congergation and see who looks guilty."
Well the next Sunday the minister comes riding up on his bike.
"Hey I see my suggestion worked."
"Well sort of, I was going along real good on the Ten Commandments
and when I got to the part about Adultry I remembered where I left the bike."