You Might be Addicted to AOL if

* Tech Support calls "You" for help.
* Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.
* You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
* You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
* You keep begging your friends to get an account "so we can hang out."
* Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome.
* You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
* you've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face.
* you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's.
* You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol" (Spanish chat room) "just to work on my Spanish."
* you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone."
* you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail message letting everyone know you're going to be away.
* you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (oops thats me twice!).
* you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences.
* you have met over 100 AOLers.
* you begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing.
* when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
* you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.
* you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are online again.
* you know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do your own spouse's.
* you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
* you have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own
* you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night online).
* you change s/n's so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are (identity crisis here).
* you're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one.
* you open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's.
* your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
* you marry your cyberboyfriend/cybergirlfriend and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room.
* you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.
* you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
* your dog leaves you.
* you have to ask what year it is.
* you are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat.
* you write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well i gotta go bbl!"
* you name your pets after people with whom you talk online.
* you smile sideways. :-)
* you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists (::cringe::).
* you have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are.
* you look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy.
* you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
* your significant other kisses your neck while you are chatting and you think "uh oh, cybersex pervo."
* you have withdrawal symptoms if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours.
* you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one... hehehe).
* you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.
* your buddy list has over 100 people on it.
* you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online before you have your first cup of coffee.
* you have to inject No-Doz into your butt to keep it awake.
* you have your computer set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen.
* you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work.
* you don't know where the time has gone.
* you end sentences with three (or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil.
* your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had.
* you get up at 2 am to go the bathroom but go turn on your computer instead.
* you spell things out loud instead of actually saying the word.
* you don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.
* when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***
* you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
* your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL."
* you type faster than you think.
* you got your psychiatrist addicted to AOL, too, and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office.
* you want to be buried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa
* you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.
* you can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv screen at the end of a movie.
* people say, if it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have long been classified as a vegetable.
* you dream in text.
* being called a newbie is a *MAJOR* insult.
* there is absolutely no interesting chat any room and you are really bored....yet you don't want to leave in case you miss something.
* you double click your tv remote.
* you can now type at more than 70 wpm.
* you think about starting a 12-step recovery group for AOL junkies.
* you are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL"
* you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail
* you go into withdrawals during dinner
* you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
* you stop speaking in full sentences
* you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers
* you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
* your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
* you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on"
* you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their s/n.




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