Why Star Wars Is Better Than Real Life

In real life, people drive "the Pacer", "the Pinto", and "the Station Wagon;" In Star Wars, people drive "Speeder Bikes", "X-wing fighters", and "the Millennium Falcon."

In real life, bar fights with strange looking people are often looked at as bad and sinful; In Star Wars, bar fights with strange looking creatures is heroic and the way of the just Jedi Knight.

In real life, people that talk to small fuzzy creatures are called crazy; In Star Wars, people that talk to small fuzzy creatures are called galactic ambassadors.

In real life, people who dress up in tight plastic/leather outfits are considered tacky and queer; In Star Wars, they're called "Storm Troopers" and are feared by all.

In real life, people often stink up the bathroom with their fecal odors, toilet paper runs out, and people get diarrhea; In Star Wars, no one has ever used the bathroom.

In real life, tall hairy, humanlike creatures are rarely seen by backwoods alcoholics, and are named ridiculous things like "Bigfoot" and "Sasquatch"; In Star Wars, tall hairy humanlike creatures are called Wookiees, and have their own language, planet, social structure, and carry formidable weaponry.

In real life, people must deal with the problems of children; In Star Wars, children do not exist.

In real life, it is often difficult to understand the languages of others, such as 7-11 employees, fast food window operators, and college profs.; In Star Wars, everyone understands everybody, regardless of language barriers.

In real life, the extremely obese are often sadly shunned by society; In Star Wars, the extremely obese Jabba the Hutt is a pimp daddy, and has his own sail barge, lounge room, and dancers to keep him occupied--he is envied by all.

In real life, people often have problems doing simple mechanical things like operating can openers, programming VCRs, and playing Nintendo; In Star Wars, Droids do all the busy work in half the time.

In real life, some people are complete losers; In Star Wars, everybody has a story to tell that's worth listening to.

In real life, people sometimes smell; In Star Wars, people are never "ripe", and yet they need not shower