You Know You're Too Hi-Tech If

You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

You call your son's beeper to let him know that it is time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"

Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

You chat several times a day with someone from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.

Your daughter just bought a single CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.

Your grandmother clogs up your email inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.

You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses.

You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.

You've printed this out and are reading it in the "library."