High Tech Jargon

NEW Different color from previous design
ALL NEW Parts not interchangeable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE Imported product
UNMATCHED Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION No provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGN The advertising agency doesn't understand it
IT'S HERE AT LAST! Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED Manufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACY Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT We finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARY It's different from our competitors
BREAKTHROUGH We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC No other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVE A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED Previous faults corrected, we hope...
HAND-CRAFTED Assembly machines operated without gloves
PERFORMANCE PROVEN Will operate through the warranty period
ALL SOLID-STATE Heavy as Hell!
BROADCAST QUALITY Gives a picture and produces noise
HIGH RELIABILITY We made it work long enough to ship it
SMPTE BUS COMPATIBLE When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
NEW GENERATION Old design failed, maybe this one will work
MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS We got a good deal at a government auction
CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY You can return it from most airports
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES We finally got it to fit together
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED Does things we can't explain
AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY One of our techs was laid off by Boeing