Chuck Norris Jokes 3Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s shit.
Chuck Norris doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”.
Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris
Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opporunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.
Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris
Mr. T wanted a shorter name. But it was taken.