Chuck Norris Jokes 1

The Devil went down to Georgia not because he was looking for a soul to steal.. Chuck Norris took over hell for two weeks and told the Devil to get the fuck out.

Chuck Norris is the reason that God rested on the seventh day.

Three simple rules of survival:

1. Don’t take the name of Chuck in vain
2. When in the presence of Chuck, avert your eyes, lest you recieve a roundhouse kick to the face
3. When camping, bring toilet paper

——

There Is No Such Thing As A Lesbian, There Are Just Girls Who Haven’t Met Chuck Norris

——

Chuck Norris doesn’t eat nails for breakfast, he eats rail road spikes.

This just in:
“Alexandria the prophet” was currently found in Japan, where she apparantly landed after a good round house kick to the face by god…I mean Chuck Norris.

——

Someone once asked Chuck Norris “How much wood, could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?” uppon completing of the sentance Chuck Norris just smiled. Two seconds later Chuck resorected Bruce Lee and he proceeded to roud house kick the person to death for taking the name of Chuck in vein.

——

chuck norris enventd a time machine and went back to just before j.f.k. was shot, he jumped in front of the bullets and shattered them all with his beard. j.f.k. died out of pure amazement.

——

Superman only has two weeknesses. Kryptonite and a round house kick from Chuck Norris.



Facebook Twitter Stumbleupon Google Reddit