Chuck Norris Facts III

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.

If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.



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