You Might Be A Democrat If...

* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it. * You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this." * You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree. * You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..." * You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category. * You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does. * You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy. * You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense. * You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi. * You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies. * You've never been mugged. * You actually expect to collect Social Security. * You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy. * You think the Great Society has actually worked. * You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK. * You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President." * You think Ayn Rand is an African currency. * Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling. * You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family. * Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people." * You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese. * You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore. * You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy. * You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to. * You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post. * You know at least one Vegan. * You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving. * You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock. * You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY. * You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes. * You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash. * You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity. * You actually think that poverty can be abolished. * You think that Joan Baez had something to say. * You admire the Swedish welfare system. * You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness." * You think the Flat Tax should be at 95% * You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic. * After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."