Minnesota Computer Terminology

Here's a Minnesota Guide to Computer Lingo LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter LOG OFF: don't add no more vood MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove MEGAHERTZ: vhen da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from pilingk too much vood RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork HARD DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season ENTER: come on in WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero SCREEN: vhat you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season CHIP: vhat ya munch during Vikings games MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix's wife LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to hang da keys so da Misses can find em SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya? MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof PORT: vhere da commercial fishin guys tie up dere boats DOCKING STATION: da same as PORT RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can't remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it