TO:   ALL MALE TAX PAYERS
FROM:   IRS
SUBJECT:   INCREASE IN TAX PAYMENTS

Dear Taxpayers:

The only thing the IRS has not taxed is your pecker.  This is due to the fact that 50% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off and 20% of the time it is hard up.  Furthermore it has two dependents and both are nuts.

Accordingly, after April 15th, 2000, your pecker will be taxed, based on its size, using the "pecker checker" scale below.  Determine your category and insert the additional tax under "other taxes" page 2, part 1, line 47 of your standard Income Tax Return.

Pecker Checker Scale

10 -12 inches     Luxury Tax          $50.00
 8 - 10 inches     Pole Tax             $25.00
 6 -  8  inches     Domestic Tax    $15.00
 4 -  6  inches     Nuisance Tax     $ 5.00

*Note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund

Males with peckers in excess of 12 inches, must claim that extra dependent.

Please do not ask for an extension.

Thank you for your cooperation,

David Rogers - IRS Chairman