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Women:
Car Parking:
The smallest kerbside space sucessfully reversed into by a woman,
was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by
Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB)
driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She
started the manoeuvre at 11:15am in Ropergate, Pontefract and successfully
parked within
three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14mins later. There was slight
damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining cars,
as well as shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on, was one of 313
miles from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn, at the wheel
of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles
into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Hollyhead with smoke billowing
from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the
longest completed with the choke fully out and the right indicator
flashing.
Video Lesbianism:
The longest period of time that two women in a pornographic film have
sat together on a settee without starting to fondle each other is
8.3 secs, in the 1994 low budget production 'Strap on Sally vol.3'.
The longest a woman has sat alone on the settee without starting to
fondle herself is 5.2 secs. in the same film.
Traffic Light Cosmetics:
The longest spell spent oblivious to traffic lights whilst applying
make up was one of 1hr 51mins 38secs. by Miss J. Dobson at a road
junction in the centre of Preston on the 1st August 1975. Miss Dobson,
a piano teacher, beautified herself through 212 cycles of the light,
creating a tailback of irate motorists stretching 28 miles towards
Leeds.
Group Toilet Visit:
The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaniously
is held by 147 workers at the dept. of Social Security, Long Benton.
At their annual celebration at a nightclub in Newcastle upon Tyne
on 12th Oct 1994. Mrs. Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and
was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving
amass the group entered the toilet at 9:52pm and after waiting for
everyone to finish, emerged 2hrs 37mins later.
Men:
Expletives:
On 9th june 1996, Mr. Harold Brayson (GB) struck his thumb with a
stone masons mallet whilst breaking concrete in his back yard in Tewksbury,
Gloucestershire.
He went on to swear for 14mins 7secs. without stopping once or repeating
a swear word. He later attemped to better this feat on BBC TV's Record
Breakers programme by dropping a car battery on his foot. It ended
in failure when he repeated the word bastard after 12mins 58secs.
Beer Drinking:
The greatest amount of beer drunk before going to the lavatory was
25.5 litres (45 pints) of assorted weak lagers, by Mr. George Wingfield
downed in various
pubs in Knutsford high street, Cheshire between 12:15pm and 2:38pm
on 22nd December 1986.
Urinating:
The longest piss delivered at one continuous scoot was one of 36 mins
24secs by Mr George Wingfield (GB) in the doorway of a newsagents
shop in Knutsford high street on 22nd December 1986. Mr Wingfield
was arrested and charged with a public order offence 17 mins into
his record attempt, but arresting officers
had to wait a further 19mins 24sec before taking him back to the station
for a kicking.
Hottest Curry Eaten:
Many claims are made about the ferocity of curries eaten, but in the
main they are difficult to substanciate. The hottest verifiable curry
eaten was a XXXHot Chicken Murg Thaal with extra chillies consumed
by George Wingfield (GB) at the Bengal Tiger Restaurant, Knutsford
on 23rd December 1986. The curry was
reportedly so hot that between kitchen and table it burst into flames,
singeing the waiters eyebrows.
Biggest Fart:
The largest and most catastrophic fart was one dropped by Mr. George
Wingfield (GB) in the car park of the Dog and Duck, Knutsford, on
the morning of the 24th December 1986. Suffering from terrible guts
Mr. Wingfield gingerly attempted to squeeze one out whilst bending
to pick up his car keys, but the resulting
flatulant explosion blew his entire digestive tract out of his arse.
Attending firemen hosed down his smoking guts for two hours before
paramedics with breathing aparatus could begin the process of pushing
them back up.
Holiday Gymnastics:
The greatest number of press-ups done in front of some girls on a
beach is 6 by Wayne Fletcher (GB) whilst on holiday in San Antonio,
Ibiza on 19th August 1988. The girls went off with a waiter.
Loudest Car Stereo:
The Saisho stereo fitted in the Mk.II Escort belonging to Wayne Fletcher
(GB) reached a momentary peak noise level of 312dB whilst waiting
at some traffic lights next to some girls in Stockport, Cheshire on
8th July 1988. This noise level is equivalent to 8 Concordes taking
off inside the car. The girls walked off.
Car Customisation:
Judged as a proportion of the overall value of the car, the accessories
fitted to the Mark II Escort of Wayne Fletcher (GB) add up to the
world's most expensive car customisation project at 105761%. Between
8th March 1986 and 22nd September 1996, Fletcher has spent a grand
total of £63,456.99 at the Stockport branch of Halfords in attempt
to attract girls to his vehicle. His fruitless purchases include a
Paddy Hopkirk Full Body Styling Kit (£3500), 'Nightrider' style
Disco Stop Lights (£199), Split 45 Weber Carburettors x4 (£200),
Scorpion Talking Alarm, (£500) and a Cromium plated Mock Twin
Exhaust Extension (£285). The car is currently valued at £50
to £60.
Longest Wheel Spin:
The greatest length of time a car has screeched its wheels to impress
some girls was achieved on 9th July 1988 by Wayne Fletcher (GB) in
his Mark II Escort. When traffic lights in Stockport, Cheshire turned
green Fletcher attempted to pull off at such speed that his front
wheels spun for an amazing 42 secs before the car began to move. Both
tyres fell to pieces and the clutch dropped out twenty yards down
the road. The girls walked off.
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